


The Devil's First Date

by Antarctic_Echoes



Series: The Devil Loves to Knit [10]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Lucifer is a dork, awkward first date, crack fic?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-04
Updated: 2017-05-04
Packaged: 2018-10-28 00:49:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10820244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctic_Echoes/pseuds/Antarctic_Echoes
Summary: Lucifer turns to a romance novel for advice when he tries to make his first date with Chloe perfect.  Things become very... awkward.Sequel to “The Devil does Movies!”





	The Devil's First Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [moonatoms](https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonatoms/gifts).



> A huge, huge, HUGE THANK YOU to moonatoms for giving me everything from plot bunnies to dialogue! I still think you should be credited as coauthor of this story! You are so amazingly talented and extremely awesome! Thank you!
> 
> And thank you so very much to everyone who’s been so enthusiastic about this fluffy series -- you are all awesome!
> 
> Wanted to get this out, so it’s a little rough around the edges and has not been beta-ed -- sorry about that! I apologize for all mistakes.
> 
>  
> 
> Disclaimer: Lucifer Morningstar and Chloe Decker are owned by Vertigo Comics, DC Comics, Neil Gaiman, Mike Carey, and everyone else involved with the Lucifer TV show and comic books. I own nothing and make no money on this. I merely am borrowing the characters for... uh... writing practice.

 

 

Lucifer Morningstar needed dating advice -- desperately.

His big date with Chloe was that evening, and he wanted it to be perfect.  But... what was perfect?  Having only had sex with humans, he didn’t know how to date.  What did one do on dates?  Rubbing the back of his neck in frustration, he racked his brain for ideas.  Coming up with a big fat zero, he decided to go seek help.  Upon discovering that Doctor Linda had gone out with Maze, he did the next best thing -- he went to a bookstore.

Rummaging through the shelves, he looked for the perfect book to help him with dating.  He had gone to the relationship area, but it only had manuals on how to have good sex.  Well, he didn’t need that, for he was the expert on great -- nay, _glorious_ \-- sex!  Pursing his lips, he realized that something else was required.  Something on... romance.  And not just romance, but _Romance._

As he wandered aimlessly through the store, he hoped that something would pop out and scream his name.   It was only when he found a section clearly labeled, “Romance,” that he knew he had found what he had been seeking.  After all, all the covers on the books had half-naked women embracing half-naked men!  What could be better?

Excitement flooded his insides as he reviewed all the titles.  Most of the men were dressed as either pirates or Highlanders.  Maybe that’s what women enjoyed...?  Exotic men?  Well, he was more than exotic -- he was the Devil!  And yet, somehow he doubted that Chloe would enjoy draping her half-naked self over his burned and scarred body.  He shuddered.  No, that would be a disaster.

But... a Highlander?  He could do that!

Spotting a particularly sexy book titled, “Highlander’s Captive Embrace” by Chloe Lauren, he knew he had a winner.  After all, the author’s name was Chloe!  What could be better than a Chloe writing advice for a Chloe?  Lucifer’s heart thumped madly as he thumbed through the pages.  Yes!  This was exactly what he needed -- the perfect guide to dating!

A huge grin graced his face as he strode quickly to the register and bought the book.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

The book was absolutely fascinating.

Lucifer read it in an hour.  He hadn’t been able to put it down.  Ingenious of the author to put dating advice neatly into a story-like setting in order to show how humans reacted in each situation!  The hero and heroine had initially hated each other, which mimicked his relationship with the detective when they’d first met.  Well, sort of.  He had found her fascinating, while she’d found him repulsive.

Later in the book was when the romancing began.  The hero took the heroine to the castle where he wined and dined her with a fabulous medieval meal, then took her home.  Lucifer was surprised, for they didn’t even kiss!  On the third date they shared a torrid kiss, before a feuding clan kidnapped the heroine.  It wasn’t until well over halfway in the book, long after the hero got his love back again, that they had sex.  Lucifer lifted an eyebrow.  Really?  It took that long before dating humans had sex?  Sighing heavily, he resigned himself to a very, very long wait before he could have sexy times with Chloe.  He’d have to find a feuding Scottish clan to help him convince her to sleep with him.

What was fascinating about the book, though, was the in-depth study of emotions it covered.  He read those parts over and over.  How did humans feel so much?  How did they know exactly what to do to make their partners happy?  It was such a mystery.  Shaking his head, Lucifer tossed the book on the coffee table.  Since dinner was that evening and it was too late to whisk the Detective to the Highlands of Scotland, he decided to do the next best thing -- take her to the Tam O’Shanter Restaurant in Los Feliz.  They served Scottish food!  Once there, he would follow the book to the letter -- engage in small talk, get to know her likes and dislikes, and feed her a healthy helping of haggis.  Nodding to himself, he congratulated himself on the brilliance of his plan.  Yes, this was sure to work!

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

Chloe’s insides thrummed with excitement.  Tonight she was actually going to go on a date with Lucifer!

Looking herself over in the mirror, she nodded at her reflection.  With her hair down and wearing a flirty red dress with a slit up one side and a revealing neckline -- but not too revealing! -- she hoped Lucifer would find her desirable.  He had said he would pick her up, but after she imagined what her hair would look like after being with him in the Corvette, she turned down his offer.  No.  No convertible, for she wanted to look her best for him... so she told him she would drive.  When she had asked him where they would be going, Lucifer had been very vague.

“Don’t worry, Detective, I have it all figured out,” he’d said over the phone.

He was her partner and she trusted him, so why did his words stir up anxiety within her?

Laughing off her uneasiness, she left Trixie behind with Maze and drove over to the Malibu house, where Lucifer said he would be feeding the animals.  Pulling up behind his convertible, she stepped out of the car and straightened her dress before letting herself into the house.

“Lucifer?”  Chloe walked into the great room and bent down to pet Findus and Weaponizer, who rushed to greet her.  “Hello, you adorable little animals.”  Straightening, she called out again.  “Lucifer, where are you?”

“Coming, Detective!”

As she heard footsteps approach from behind her, she turned... and gasped.  Lucifer was dressed in a kilt -- and nothing else.  Her words died in her throat, and all she could say was, “Uhhhhh....”

“Detective, you look stunning!”  His eyes grew dark with passion as he looked her over, and his face filled with desire.  “Good enough to eat.”

Okay, she wasn’t touching that comment -- not when she was still stuck on his appearance.  “Uhhhhh... what are you...?”

“Oh!”  He preened happily.  “Well?  How do I look?  Sexy?  Dashing?  Like a Highlander?”

Okay, why couldn’t she take her eyes off of his bare chest?  “Uh... Lucifer, w-why are you dressed like that?”

Smiling, he pirouetted before her and waved a hand along his tartan.  “Do you like?”

 _Very._  Taking a deep breath, she tried to  to control her suddenly racing heart.  “Uh, you’re not planning on taking me out like that, are you?”

“You don’t like?”  He gasped.  “But -- but the book assured me that women love this sort of thing!”

What was he talking about?  Chloe shook her head with a puzzled frown.  “Book?”

“Highlander’s Captive Embrace!”  He picked up a paperback book from the coffee table and handed it to her.  The cover showed a half-naked man wearing only a kilt, with an almost naked woman sprawled all over him.  “See?  See on the cover how he’s dressed?”  His eyes twinkled with delight as he glanced at her with relish.  “I must say, though, I’m somewhat disappointed to see that you’re clothed as much as you are.  The book cover clearly shows that you should be half-naked.  Maybe pull up your dress to your hips...?”  He reached out for the hem of her skirt.

She slapped his hand away as her face flushed a light pink.  “I am not pulling my dress up to my hips.”  Handing the book back to him, she gave him her best glare.  “Please don’t tell me you read this.”

Tilting his head, he studied her with puzzled eyes, then shrugged.  “Fine, I won’t.”

“And you need to change.”  Chloe waved her hand at him.  “You’re not getting in my car like that.”

“But...!”  When her eyes narrowed, he sighed heavily.  “Oh, very well, Detective.”  He glanced down at himself with disappointment.  “I was sure this would work.”

Wondering what he meant by that, she said, “Yeah, well... just take that off.”

“Very well, Detective.”

Before Chloe could say anything more, he quickly stripped out of the kilt, revealing that he had nothing on underneath.  Her mouth dropped open as she got a very good look at his impressive wedding tackle.  Seeing her sudden attention, he smiled with pride as he stood up straight, arms akimbo, and thrust out his hips.  “Right.  This is far better -- wouldn’t you agree?”

 _Oh.  My.  God._ Blushing bright red, she turned away and waved in his general vicinity.  “You’re _definitely_ not getting into my car like that.”

His mouth fell open.  “But, Detective --”

“Go put on some clothes, Lucifer -- now!”

“Fine.”  He sounded sulky, like a little boy.

Hearing his receding footsteps, she sneaked a peek at his very well-sculpted behind, only to squeak as he turned to say, “I’ll be --”

Heat rushed into her face as she whirled back around, but not before she caught sight of his wide, knowing grin.   _Oh, stupid, stupid!_ she berated herself.  What must he think of her?

“I’ll be but a minute!” he called.  Imagining she could hear a smug tone in his voice, she cringed.

A few minutes later he reemerged, dressed smartly in a black vested suit with a burgundy shirt.  Slanting her a glance, he said with a smile, “Better?”

“Much.”  In fact, he looked so handsome that butterflies suddenly took flight in her stomach.  Trying to catch her breath, she swallowed hard and tried to look calm.

His eyes smoldered as he caught her gaze.  “Did you enjoy the preview of things to come?”

Chloe let out a very loud, nervous laugh, which had Lucifer taking a step back in surprise.  Plastering a smile on her face, she tried hard not to let him see just how much she had enjoyed the preview.

Drawing his eyebrows together, Lucifer blinked at her with puzzlement.  “Are... are you all right, Detective?”

Oh god, he thought she was insane, she just knew it.

“Of course!” she said in a high-pitched, choked voice as she kicked herself mentally.  She had to stop making a fool of herself!  Clearing her throat, she said, “I mean... I’m fine.  Are... are we just going to leave the animals?”

The fallen angel cast an untrusting glance at Weaponizer, who looked back innocently.  “I’m not sure I trust this one, but... yes.  That was the plan.”

Trying to be more business-like and less nervous, she nodded.  “Okay, let’s go then.”  Giving the animals a last pat, she walked to the door with Lucifer close behind.  Feeling the heat coming off from his body in waves, She took a deep breath as she struggled to keep a handle on her desire.

Everything was going to be fine.  Just fine.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

Lucifer cast glances at Chloe as she drove.  She was wearing a beautiful red dress, and her hair fell down around her shoulders in waves, like tresses of golden silk.  The urge to take her in his arms and kiss her senseless was overwhelming, but he managed to resist -- barely -- and scolded himself.

No.  He had to do this right.  He wanted more than just a quick roll in the hay.  Chloe was special, for she was his everything.  He had to make this night memorable, and do this properly.  Luckily he had read that manual on romance, and felt confident that their first night would go well.

Chloe’s voice jolted him out of his reverie.  “So where are we going?”

“Los Feliz.”

Her eyebrows rose at that.  “That’s... kind of far.”

Lucifer felt anxiety twist at his stomach.  Had he done this wrong already?  “I would have driven, Detective --”

“I know, and it’s okay.  I’m just saying....”

An awkward silence fell between them.

“It was the only --” Lucifer started, just as Chloe said, “What are we --”

He paused, waiting for her to go on. When she didn’t, he said, “Go on.”

“No, you go ahead.”

“No, you.”

“No, really, Detective, please say what you were going to --”

“It’s okay, Lucifer, you go first --”

“No, really, I insist.”

Finally taking a deep breath, Chloe said, “I was just wondering what we were going to eat.”

“Oh!”  He brightened.  “Scottish food!  I thought Tam O’Shanter’s might be nice.”

She gave him a strange look.  “Scottish food.”

“Yes!”

“So we’re going to... a pub.”

“Well, it’s not really a pub, although I suppose you can look at it as such.”  Feeling quite proud of himself, he grinned at her.

She glanced at him before returning her attention to the road.  When she spoke, her voice was dry.  “A pub.”

“Yes.”  Lucifer blinked.  “Is... is something wrong?”

“No, no, no.”  Her voice had gone up an octave like it did when something _was_ wrong.  “Everything is fine.”

Brows furrowing, he cocked his head and studied her.  “No, something’s wrong.  What is it?”

“Nothing.”  Her voice was still that high, strained pitch.

Shifting in his seat, he turned his body toward her.  “Right.  Obviously something’s wrong.  You can tell me.  Is it the restaurant?  We can go wherever you like --”

“No, this is fine.”  The smile she flashed in his direction filled Lucifer with doubt.  “It’s fine.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded vigorously, that tight smile still on her face.  “Yes.  Positive.”

Giving her a suspicious look, he nodded.  “Okay....”

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

Another long, awkward pause passed before Chloe spoke again.  “It’s just that....”

He turned back toward her.  “Yes?”

“I... I think I overdressed.  If you had told me we were going to a pub, I would have dressed down a bit....”

“Oh.”  She was worried about her clothes?  He hadn’t given any thought about that, for she was always perfect, no matter what the occasion.  Still, he should have talked to her first.  Silently berating himself, he hurried to allay her fears.  “My dear Detective, you look ravishing and perfect for the occasion, but if you would prefer we go somewhere else, by all means, let’s.”

Chloe shook her head.  “No.”  Taking a deep breath, she glanced at him and gave him a smile.  “I’m sure it will be fine.”

The rest of the drive was made in silence.

 

 

________________________________________

  


 

Chloe was pleasantly surprised by the restaurant.

When Lucifer had said they were going to a pub, she had been filled with disappointment.  Perhaps she had let her expectations get the best of her, but she had thought he would wine and dine her, and treat her like... well... she didn’t know.  But she had hoped for something better than a beer and burger on their first date.

She should have known that Lucifer wouldn’t scrimp on the expenses.  Tam O’Shanters was a pub, but a tasteful one -- much more like a restaurant -- with a definite Scottish flair.  As they passed through the main bar area, Chloe breathed a sigh of relief.  She really hadn’t wanted to eat in such a loud area.  Instead they were taken to the Bonny Prince Charles Room, where Lucifer had booked them a nice table by a roaring fireplace.  Taking a seat, she smoothed down her dress and felt her confidence return.

The host handed them the menus and left them in peace.  When she opened the menu, Chloe gaped in surprise at the prices.  She had been anticipating inexpensive pub food, but this was far from it.  While it wasn’t out-of-this-world expensive, it definitely wasn’t cheap.

“Can I get you something to drink?” a young man asked, walking up to them.

“Hm.  Red wine, I believe, considering your menu,” Lucifer said.  “What’s your finest?”

“I would say the Justin Isosceles, from Justin Vineyards.”

Her partner frowned.  “Hm.  I suppose it’s adequate.  We’ll take a bottle.”

“Very good, sir.”

Chloe’s eyes popped as the sommelier walked away.  “Lucifer, no -- that’s over a hundred dollars --”

He gave her a steamy glance.  “You’re well worth far more than that.”  Then, as if remembering something, he suddenly straightened and looked horribly uncomfortable.  “I mean... I should have brought the wine.  We would have had something far more palatable.”

She watched as he opened his menu before she glanced back down at hers.

“Right.  What’s your fancy, Detective?” he asked her.  “Perhaps the lobster tail combo with the Tam O’Shanter prime rib cut?  And maybe with a Caesar salad to start?”

Adding up the prices in her head, Chloe bit her lower lip.  She knew Lucifer had money, but she still felt incredibly bad.  “Lucifer... that’s really expensive --”

“Please, Detective.”  His voice grew soft as he looked at her from across the table.  “Don’t worry about the costs.  You’re worth every penny.”  As Chloe felt heat rush into her cheeks at his words, Lucifer blinked, then straightened.  “I mean... I’m loaded, Detective!  Nothing to worry about!”  He gave her a big, toothy grin that made him look completely ill at ease.

Caught a little off-balance by his odd behavior, she gave him a puzzled look.  “Are you okay?”

The fake smile did not fade.  “Of course, Detective!  Perfectly fine.”  He glanced down at the menu again.  “Oh, and they have haggis!  We definitely need to get that --”

 _Haggis?_  Her stomach churned unhappily at the thought.  “No.  No haggis.”

The smile finally fell from Lucifer’s face as he gawked at her.  “But... but we _have_ to have haggis!  Bonding’s done over haggis!  I have to do this right.  The book said --”

Her eyes narrowed as she studied him.   _“What_ are you talking about?”

He bit his lip.  “Nothing.  I mean, of course we can pass on the haggis, if you wish.”

An awkward silence fell over the table.

Lucifer cleared his throat.  “Ah.  Right.  So...how's the spawn?”

Chloe stared at him, wide-eyed.  “Lucifer, you saw Trixie pretty much all weekend.”

Shifting in his seat, he looked everywhere but at her.  “Well, who knows, maybe she bumped her head in the last half hour?”

A chuckle escaped her.  “If she had, you would have known it, because she would have called me.”

“Oh.”  Another long pause went by before he said, “Children are awfully inept at just walking without hurting themselves. How do so many of them make it to adulthood anyway?”

She couldn’t believe the conversation they were having.  Rolling her eyes, she sighed.  She knew first dates could be awkward, but she didn’t remember them being _this_ awkward....

For a few minutes they avoided looking at each other by staring at their menus, before Lucifer spoke.

“Detective, is your bosom heaving?”

Chloe’s brows furrowed.  “What?”

“I’m just wondering.  In that book I was reading, ‘Highlander’s Captive Embrace,’ the heroine is constantly having a heaving bosom.  What, exactly, does a heaving bosom look like?”  He gazed at her with an inquisitive expression, clearly wanting an answer.

“Lucifer --”

“And does my bosom heave?”

_“What?”_

“I mean, I can heave... well, I think I can.  Heave, that is.  Or is that hurl?  You know, vomit.  Would that make my bosom heave?”  With his face filled with puzzlement, he glanced down at his chest, then back at her.

“Lucifer --”

“Do men have bosoms?”

Chloe sighed.  How the hell did they get on this subject?  “Yes, but they’re not called bosoms on a man.”

“Why not?  After all, you humans are all for equality.  Shouldn’t a man have a heaving bosom?”

“Okay, this is getting too weird, even for you.”  Chloe eyed him.  “And why were you reading such a cheesy romance novel anyway?”

Lucifer shifted in his chair and looked at everything and anything except her.  "Ah.  Right.  Well...I wanted to...um...just for inspiration...I guess.”

Just then the waitress approached them.  “Are you ready to order?”

“Ah.  Right.  Detective?”

“I’ll have the lobster tail combo with the prime rib, California cut.”

“Oooh, nice choice!”  The waitress smiled as she tapped the menu.  “I personally like a woman who’s not afraid to eat a hearty meal.”  Placing a hand on the table, she leaned close to Chloe, giving her a good view of her heaving bosom.  “Do you want spinach or corn?”   _Or me?_ her body language seemed to say.

Laughing nervously, Chloe looked back down at the menu.  “Uh... the spinach.”

“Oh, good choice!”  The waitress kept looking at Chloe, then pointed to her name tag.  “I’m Stephanie, but you can call me Steph.”

“Right.  Steph,” Lucifer suddenly interrupted, his voice tight.  “I’ll have the same with the Prince Charlie cut.”

“Huh?  Oh.  Yeah.  Whatever.”  Ignoring him, Steph gathered up the menus and left the table.

Lucifer watched her go before turning back to Chloe.  “I do believe she was hitting on you.”

“What?  No....”  She felt her face turn red as her date studied her with narrowed eyes.  “Don’t be silly.”

“I’m not being silly.  It was quite obvious, Detective.”  His face grew sulky.  “I didn’t bring you here so that you could be ogled by our waitress.”

“Lucifer, she wasn’t ogling me.”

He shook his head.  “Bloody hell, this is going all wrong.  This is my fault.  I should have known --”  Breaking off, he looked away.

Raising her eyebrows, she  waited for him to finish.  When he didn’t, she prompted, “Known what?”

His eyes fell to the table, before gazing up at her.  The plasticky smile was back on his face, but Chloe could see the pain in his eyes.  “It’s not important.  Let’s just have a good time, shall we?”

“But Lucifer --”

“No, Detective.  Ah, and there’s our wine!”

For the rest of their time in the restaurant, Lucifer was at his most charming, laughing and telling her amusing stories of Weaponizer and Findus.  Sensing his unhappiness, Chloe tried to get him to open up to her, but he only laughed and deftly changed the subject.  Unease ruined her appetite, and the wonderful food tasted like sawdust in her mouth.

 

 

________________________________________

  


 

The conversation during the drive home was stilted, at best.

Lucifer felt depression all the way down to the marrow of his bones.  His plans for his date with the detective had gone horribly wrong.  From the very beginning with the kilt, he had mucked everything up.  He should have known better than to even try.  Nothing ever went well for him.

After all, who was he to date the detective?  She was beautiful, classy, smart... far too good for the likes of him.  She had turned the heads of everyone in the restaurant -- including their waitress.  What would she want with someone like him?  He was a monster.  The Devil.  A scarred, wingless creature with a horrible reputation.

No... he shouldn’t have even tried.

He wasn’t worthy of her.  What a fool he was, to even consider the notion that he might have been.  Opening his hands, he stared down at them, watching the lights from the passing streetlamps illuminate them in flashes.  When they passed under orange lamps, he could almost see his hands as they truly were -- blood red, skinless, a mass of muscle, ligaments and bone.  Clenching them into fists, he took a deep breath and struggled to control the horrible ache inside his chest.

Looking out the window, he realized they had taken a detour away from the route back home to the Malibu house.  He blinked in surprise, then glanced at Chloe.  Surely she knew she was headed in the wrong direction...?

“Detective...?”

“We have to talk.”  Her voice was firm.

Right.  And here was the moment he had been dreading -- she would tell him what a failure he was, that she didn’t want anything more to do with him, that she had far better things to do than to go out with a pathetic mess of a fallen angel who didn’t even know how to date....

Squeezing his eyes shut, he kept them closed until he felt the car come to a stop.  When he opened them, he saw that the detective had pulled up to the local Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop.

“Come on,” she said as she unbuckled her seatbelt and opened her door.  “My treat.”

The thought of just staying in the car and refusing to budge appealed to him, but Chloe was waiting, and he could never say no to her.  With a sigh and a heavy heart, he pulled himself out of the car and followed her into the little shop.

There were no other customers there, which was nice.  The young girl behind the counter smiled at them.  “What can I get you?”

“Hmmm.”  Chloe paced in front of the counter, looking through the glass at the buckets of ice cream.  “I’ll have a scoop of the Pistachio Almond.”

“Cone or cup?”

“Cup.”

“Is that it?”

“No.”  She waved at Lucifer as she spoke to the girl.  “And whatever he wants.”  Turning to him, Chloe asked, “What do you want?”

 _You,_ he wanted to say, but bit his tongue.  “I... I don’t know.”

Well, take a look.”  She pushed him toward the counter.  “There’s Salty Caramel ice cream -- that sounds good.  Or that one -- Macadamia Nuts n’ Cream.”

Lucifer scanned the various flavors before them, chewing his lower lip with indecision.  “They all look good.”

Chloe chuckled.  “Well, don’t get them all.  Come on, choose.”  She pointed at a pink concoction.  “What about that one?  It’s Pink Bubblegum ice cream.  That sounds interesting --”

“It sounds revolting.”  Sighing, he studied the buckets.  “Well... if I must choose....  I’ll have a scoop of the Chocolate Fudge and a scoop of the Cherries Jubilee.”

“Cup or cone?” asked the girl.

“Right.  Ah... cup.”

He watched as the young girl scooped up the different ice cream flavors and packed them into cups -- the detective’s first, then his.  When she finished, she stabbed cute little plastic pink spoons in each cup, then rang up their order.

“Detective, let me get it --”

“No.”  Her eyes twinkled at him as she smiled.  “My idea.  My treat.”

Fidgeting as she paid, he finally wandered over to a little table with two chairs and took a seat.  He felt... bad that she was paying, especially when she was about to tell him that she never wanted to see him again.  It didn’t feel right.  Pulling at the back of his neck, he shut his eyes and tried to prepare himself for the worst.

“Here you go.”

At the sound of her voice, he looked up to see Chloe standing over him.  Handing him his ice cream, she then sat down on the empty chair.  Plunging her spoon into the light green ice cream, she pulled out a hefty amount and popped it into her mouth.

“Mmm, I always loved pistachio ice cream,” she said as she smiled at him.  “Everyone tells me it’s an old person flavor, but I like it.”

“It’s not an old person flavor!”  Indignation rose within him at the thought of someone insulting the detective.  “Who told you that?  I’ll go punish them --”

Her laugh stopped his tirade.  “No, that’s not necessary.  It was my grandmother, and she’s already passed away.”

“This was the grandmother who taught you to knit?”

“The very one.”

“Well, if I ever meet her, I will have to thank her... and then have a talk with her about pistachio ice cream.”

She slanted a glance at him.  “Yeah, right, Lucifer.”  For a few moments they ate in silence before Chloe said, “So... what happened back in the restaurant?”

He kept his eyes planted on his ice cream as he took a bite, and said nothing.

She gave him a nudge with her elbow.  “Come on, Lucifer -- I know you.  Even though you put up a good front, you were unhappy.  What gives?”

Seeing no way out of escaping the conversation, the fallen angel sighed heavily.  “I... I ruined our first date.”

Chloe’s mouth fell open.  “You did not!”

“I did.”  He stabbed his ice cream a couple of times before he took a spoonful of chocolate and ate it.  “I tried so hard, but in the end, I ruined everything.  I always do.”  A heavy sigh escaped him.  “I wanted it to be perfect, but it wasn’t.”

“Lucifer --”

“It’s true!  I should have told you where we were going.  You were uncomfortable about your clothes --”

“The restaurant turned out to be wonderful --”

“I wore a kilt.”

“You changed.”

“The conversation was... horribly awkward.”

She laughed.  “I’ll give you that!”

“You see?” he said as he gave her a sharp look.  “You had a horrible time.”

Reaching out, she took a hold of his hand and squeezed.  “But we were both awkward and trying too hard -- it wasn’t just you.”

His heart stuttered at her touch, before it started thumping furiously.  Feeling heat rushing up his neck and into his cheeks, he struggled to get himself under control.  She was going to tell him goodbye -- he had to keep that in mind.  “No, Detective.  It was all me.”  Slipping his hand from her grasp, he shook his head.  “You’re... smart.  Sexy.  Beautiful on the inside and out.  You had the attention of all the men and women in the restaurant.”

Her voice was soft when she spoke.  “That wasn’t just me -- there were quite a number of diners lusting after you, too.”

The fallen angel squeezed his eyes.  “No.  I’m a monster.  I should have known better than to reach for perfection.  You deserve someone as beautiful as you.  And... that’s not me.”  A rueful chuckle escaped him.  “I was a fool to ask you out.”

“Hey.”  Chloe reached over and turned his head toward her with a touch on his chin, causing the fallen angel’s eyes to fly open.  “Lucifer, you’re beautiful on the inside and out, too.”

“I wish I was, Detective.”  His eyes fell to his ice cream.  “I’m not.”

He heard her sigh before she reached up and caressed his cheek.  “Look, Lucifer, I don’t know what happened to you to make you hate yourself so much, but I _know_ you.  Believe me.  You’re a good man.  A worthy man.  One that I trust... and care for.”

Seeing the sincerity in her aqua eyes, he found himself unable to say anything more than, “Detective....”

“Look.”  She pointed at their ice cream cups.  “I’m pistachio.  You’re chocolate and cherry.  Do you know what that is when you combine them?”

Shaking his head, he gave her a helpless look.  “A horrible mess?”

A chuckle escaped her.  “No.  You get spumoni.  We’re like that.  Alone, I’m just plain old pistachio.  Alone, you’re Trixie’s favorite -- chocolate -- and wild, like cherries.  Together, we make a delicious ice cream which you can’t get with any other flavors.”  Reaching down, she took his hand back into hers.  “We’re special, you and I.  We’re good partners.  A good match.  I can’t make spumoni with anyone else.”

“Detective....”  He stared at her, unable to comprehend what she was saying.

“So never say you ruin everything.  I had a wonderful time today with you.  I’d have a wonderful time no matter what we did, okay?”

Hope flooded his heart and filled his insides with warmth.  Chloe was so generous, so kind, so... just so beautiful inside.  He really didn’t deserve her, but he would hold onto her as tightly as he could and never let go.  Heat reddened his cheeks as his gaze dropped to their ice cream cups.  Spumoni.  Just the thought made him want to start singing out his joy like a lark.  He’d never eat any other ice cream again, except that flavor.

“Detective,” he whispered as his eyes found hers.  The hard planes of his face softened as he gazed at her tenderly.  He could drown in those eyes....

“Lucifer,” she whispered back as she started leaning toward him.

Goodness, he felt as if he was falling toward her as he took in her pink cheeks, her kissable lips, and her eyes darkening with desire.  He felt passion inside of him echo hers as he leaned toward her.  Oh, so close now.  They were almost sharing the same breath --

“Hey, I’m sorry, but we’re closing now.”

The girl’s voice broke them apart instantly.  Chloe let out a little huff of a laugh while Lucifer turned away and struggled to get his desire under control. Bloody hell, they had been so close...!

“Well, we really should be going, anyway,” his partner said as she got to her feet.  “We can eat in the car.”

Lucifer reluctantly rose to join her as he picked up their ice cream cups.  Too moved to speak, he nodded, then quietly followed her out, his eyes gentle as they touched upon her golden hair.

Although they ate their ice cream without words, the silence was not awkward.  They frequently exchanged shy glances at each other, before Chloe took them home.

 

 

________________________________________

 

 

Chloe pulled up behind Lucifer’s Corvette and parked the car.  For a moment they both sat there in silence, unwilling for the night to end.

“Well,” she finally said, and stole a glance at him.  She couldn’t see too clearly in the darkness of the car, but he wore an expression she had never seen before.  He looked... soft.  Gentle.  Loving.

“Well,” he replied.

“I guess... this is good night.”

“Ah.  Right.  I suppose so.”

“I had a really good time,” Chloe said.

At the same time, Lucifer said, “Thank you for the ice cream.”

They both laughed.  As their amusement died and the silence stretched on, Lucifer finally said, “Right.  I guess I better go.  Who knows what Weaponizer has done to the house?”

Chloe chuckled.  “He is a troublemaker.”

“Indeed.”  Lucifer opened the car door and stepped out.  Slipping out of the car as well, Chloe walked up to him and touched his sleeve.

“I really did have a wonderful time, Lucifer.”

He smiled down at her, still wearing that tender look.  “As did I, Detective.”

They reached for each other at the same time.  Her hands rested on his chest, while he held her at her waist.  As he gazed down at her in the moonlight, Chloe felt her heart thump faster and faster.

“We’re not supposed to kiss on the first date, you know,” Lucifer whispered as he bent his head.

“Who says?” she whispered back.

“Highlander’s Captive Embrace.”

Chuckling, she leaned closer to him.  “You shouldn’t always do things by the book, Lucifer.”

A slow smile lit his face as his eyes grew sultry.  “Indeed, Detective?  I thought you did everything by the book.”

“Only when it comes to work.”  The sight of him filled her vision as they drew closer together.  Her heart pounded furiously at the passion she saw in his eyes....  How she wanted him to kiss her!

A loud crash echoed through the night, breaking them apart instantly.

“What the hell was that?” Chloe cried, clutching her chest.

“Bloody hell -- it’s that damned penguin, I just know it!” Lucifer snarled.

She started to laugh -- she couldn’t help it.  It looked like she was going to have to do everything by the book, even though she didn’t want to.  The world was conspiring against them tonight.  Giving him a last caress against his stubbly cheek, she pulled away.

“I better get going.”

His face grew forlorn.  “Yes.  Of... of course.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

A tender smile touched his lips.  “Definitely.”

With a sigh, Chloe stepped into the car.  A part of her was curious about what Weaponizer had done to make such a loud ruckus, but then she realized she didn’t want to know.  With a final wave to her partner, she started the car and pulled away.  From her rear view mirror, she saw him staring after her until she turned the corner and could see him no more.

Feeling a wonderful, happy glow all throughout her body, she smiled all the way home.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And sorry for the self-promotion, but I am finally FINALLY on Tumblr now. If you are interested, please check me out at  
> https://antarctic-echoes.tumblr.com/  
> I just started it so it doesn't have much... yet. But that will change! Thank you all so very much! You are all awesome!


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